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  Joel L Murray
Name: Army Sgt. Joel L. Murray

Age: 26

From: Kansas City, Mo.

Assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 16th Infantry Regiment, 4th Infantry Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Riley, Kan.

Incident: Army Sgt. Joel L. Murray died Sept. 4 in Baghdad of wounds sustained from an improvised explosive device. Also killed were Spc. David J. Lane and Pvt. Randol S. Shelton.

Died: September 04, 2007

Father recalls receiving news of soldier son’s death

By Tim Unruh
Salina Journal

SALINA, Kan. — Kenneth Murray was reading a news report on the Internet that Wednesday morning, about a Humvee that had been hit the day before in Sadr City, Iraq.

“There was this graphic description of what happened to the people. It was more information than I needed to know,” he recalled.

The attack occurred where Murray’s 26-year-old son, Sgt. Joel Murray, had been on missions.

“I remember thinking ‘Oh my God, there’s a lot of Humvees in that area. I hope it’s not Joel.’ Then my doorbell rings,” said Murray, who lives in Simpson, a small town in Mitchell County.

He answered to find uniformed Army officers, one a chaplain, from Fort Riley.

At that instant, “I knew what happened. When two field grade officers walk up to your door, it’s not good news,” Murray said.

His son was among three killed Sept. 4 when an improvised explosive device hit the Humvee he was riding in.

It is the Army’s duty to inform loved ones. Casualty notification officers also notified Joel’s mother, Ann Meuli, in Salina and Joel’s wife, Maricel Murray, in Ogden.

Deb Shelkey, a civilian employee in Fort Riley’s casualty office, said that in each case, the officer recites the same message, which begins:

“The secretary of the Army has asked me to express his deep regret that your son (or daughter) was killed in action ...”

Kenneth Murray always knew there was a chance his son, who was on his second tour in Iraq, would be hurt or killed.

“You always know your son’s an infantryman who puts himself in harm’s way. And you also know that he knows what can happen. But he does it, and that makes him different than most people,” he said.

While Kenneth Murray, family and friends mourn the loss of a loved one, he also hurts for the soldiers charged with delivering the dreadful news to families.

“I tell ya what. They’ve got the toughest job on earth,” he said.

Some 150 officers have been trained at Fort Riley to perform the duty. More than 130 soldiers and two airmen from the fort have been killed in the war.

There have been more than 4,200 U.S. military deaths from operations in Iraq and Afghanistan since March 19, 2003, according to a Department of Defense Web site.

“We tell them this is probably going to be the most difficult duty they’ve ever done,” Shelkey said.

Maj. Nathan Bond concurs. A deputy public affairs officer at Fort Riley, he has broken the news three times in his 18 years in the service. While he would rather be deployed “anywhere” than do it again, Bond, 37, said it is a most necessary duty.

“It is a privilege and an honor to be that connection between a soldier and a family in the Army, but you know that when you get to that door, you’re the lasting memory for that family. They’re not going to forget that morning they got that knock on the door,” he said. “You want to make sure it’s a memory that has the appropriate dignity that reflects the life of that loved one, a memory that’s consistent with the person whose death is being announced, consistent with what we hope to be as a nation, what we hope to be as an army.”

The casualty notification officers go unannounced to the families’ homes.

“They’re the bad guy. They tell what’s happened. Then the family doesn’t see them again,” Shelkey said.

But the Army doesn’t stop there.

Casualty assistance officers are assigned to family members to answer questions or provide assistance.

Just as families will always remember being told the worst news, performing the duty of telling is difficult and memorable.

Bond’s first time was in the Chicago area in 2003. The order came in a phone message telling Bond to put on his dress uniform.

“I was so nervous to go do it, making sure I had the prepared speech ready, wanting to make sure I got it right,” he said. “Before I got there, I was imagining it being my wife and wanting to do it in a way that I would want to do it for my wife. The Golden Rule definitely applies here.”

Bond arrived at the house at 6 o’clock in the morning, and informed the mother that her 19-year-old son had been killed in Iraq. He went alone, but since then the Army has required that a chaplain attend as well.

“I wasn’t really prepared to do that,” Bond said.

He said the soldier’s mother and the mother’s husband reacted in “shock, disbelief ... probably a denial at first.”

No matter how hard one tries, the mission is delivering terrible news.

“You rattle off that delivered, practiced line. It’s a quick, initial formality that really sets the tone for the rest of the visit,” Bond said.

He was there about 15 minutes, while the mother called her daughter and a friend. He left them with a number to call a casualty assistance officer.

While he has privately wept after performing the duty, Bond said he has never lost his composure in front of families.

“I think there’s an expectation to be — number one — professional, that calm, confident person in the middle of the worst storm. That’s who I wanted to be for those families. I hope my empathy came through,” he said.

Bond tells himself it’s part of the job, but he can’t help but feel a “deep sadness” for his audience.

“If you have a heart and care about people you’re delivering this news to, it hurts, and you’re hurting for them,” he said. “I’ve got two boys of my own. They’re very young. I can only imagine how it must feel.”

The intent is to show that the Army cares about each and every soldier, “and these soldiers who have given the last full measure of devotion really do deserve this dignified treatment. When you’re an officer assigned to do that, that’s what’s foremost in your mind.”

The Army has changed for the better in his 18 years, Bond said. “We take much better care of families than we used to.”

Kenneth Murray, a Vietnam War veteran, has high praise for the Army’s response since his son’s death.

“They’ll basically do anything we ask them to. They’re wonderful people,” he said.


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Prayers & Condolences For:
Joel L Murray
BY miyembro on May 23, 2008
  Your sacrifice will remain in our hearts for a lifetime,

with intense gratitude. May God bless you and your family.

Rest Safely and Securely in God's Loving Arms.
 

MEMBER OFFLINE _USERINFO send private message to
Prayers & Condolences For:
Joel L Murray
BY John on Apr 09, 2008
  May the grace of God, the love of Jesus, and the peace of the Holy Spirit be with you and your family forever.
 


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Wall Of Prayers
Wall Of Prayers



Frank E. Adamski III

To the family of Frank Adamski, including his wife and daughter, my sincere condolences. I plan to make sure he is never forgotten.


Benjamin Walker

🕯️


Trevor B. Adkins

If I could go back in time I would begg you not to go I miss you so much the girls do to they talk about you all the time lots of love your sister


Adam D. Jones

Happy Birthday, Adam. You are missed so much every minute of everyday! XOXO ~143~ You will forever be in my heart and on my mind. Love always, Tammy


Laurie Cobb

She was my 3rd and 5th grade teacher. Today I'm 32 and still think about her. She was the best teacher ever. From her hair children stories to her bubbly happiness and kindness she spread. I'll never forget her. She was the teacher who had lunch with the kids in her classroom so everyone had someone to be with. She made my school experience amazing. I will never forget her.. I love you Mrs. Cobb. Sincerely, Forever in my thoughts, Alyssa (Viau) Capone


Larry E Polley Jr

SPC Polley died almost two decades ago so I don't know if this message will be seen. In honor of Memorial Day, my agency hands out cards with names of those who have fallen. This year, 2023, I received the card for SPC Polley and was inspired to look up more on him. I am thankful for his service and sacrifice. My condolences to his family. He is not forgotten.


Paul C. Holter III

Miss you brother


Alex D Gonzalez

Love you and miss you always. Since you been gone it has been hard for everyone. I know you loved what you did, and I want to thank you for our freedom. If I can have you back home and safe living your life man everything would be different. No matter how much money they would offer me I would rather have you alive and home. Money comes and go so it's not worth losing you.


Christopher D Young

hello my name is Jesus Vega I would like to give my condolences to Christopher's family and friends, I served with him in Iraq and slept in the same quarters. I have many fond memories of him. I have never forgotten his sacrifice. I would like to share that the greatest memory I had of Chris is that he would speak highly of his mom and how much she meant to him. Chris was a strong minded person and looked out for other. He was kind and friendly the he made friends with everyone. Chris was truly a great man! I sincerely apologize for not sharing sooner. but would like to express that Chris's memory will never be forgotten! though he is not with us he will always be in spirit! If this message gets to Christopher's mother I she could know she raised a great man and for that I thank you.


Jose E Ulloa

Ricky you are still in your family's hearts.


John Michael Roy Curwin

I'm doing a work assignment for school and think he should be included.


Derek L. Shanfield

Heartfelt Sympathy on the loss of your son - Semper Fi.


Marisol Heredia

Dear Marisol, You are Loved Forever...Jeff


John Charles Jenkins

In hope for your soul to be safe and in peace forever, God hold you in your wings! Amen


Todd Beamer

Your courage exceeds the unimaginable.


Steven Paul Chucknick

peace be with you


Geoffrey Perez

thank you for being in our lives, you i got to see you right before you left and i feel so blessed for tour ultimate sacrifice brother. Rest in paradise


Linda Jones

Praying for peace and serenity. God bless you as you travel this difficult path.


Kristopher J. Gould

Miss you everyday buddy. Look forward to seeing you again, one day.


Kristopher J. Gould

Thank you for making the ultimate sacrifice, Kris. You are missed.


Deora Bodley

rest in peace


James David Parker

I knew James David Parker as "Dave" when he lived in Solon Ohio. We met when I moved into town from out of state. He and his group of friends were a year or two older than me. Dave was a bright beacon of hope and joy to me. I was an unsure young man in a strange place. Dave introduced me to many people and ensured his friends always saved me a seat in the lunchroom. I have fond memories of him and his friends during that time. I doubt so many people would have been as wonderful toward me without Dave's incredible kindness. I've never forgotten his kindness. I hope to be able to pay it forward someday.


Tyler O. Griffin

Condolences to the family. Freedom is not free, it cost this man's life. Thank you is not enough. Grieving is not enough for your loss though it is all we have, the Sandoval Family

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